The New Yorker decided to make fun of security incident notices in a piece by Jay Katsir. From the notice’s “What Happened?” section:
In or around November or February, 2018/24, we detected suspicious activity within our system. It was not like in the movies, where a big red “ALERT” message flashes onscreen, but there was a honking Klaxon alarm, and someone with a V.R. headset whispered, “This wasn’t in the [expletive] training manual.” We are working with a cybersecurity firm to identify the missing expletive.
Read the parody in The New Yorker.